Behold your little one

It use to be that every time I got in the car with Odette to go to the hospital my stress levels were so high that I would literally have no fingernails left by the time I made it there.

Even though Odette has been cancer free for a little over a year, I still get in a panic every time she gets a bruise, doesn't eat much, gets a temperature or I have to take her to a check up appointment.

That was until very recently.

The past few weeks things have taken on a different perspective.  A perspective that during cancer I always wished I had, but was irritated at those who thought this way.  (Seeing your baby suffer causes all sorts of havoc on the emotions.)

Everything happens for a reason.  You learn a lot, you grow a lot and....you wish that you hadn't wished that part of your life away.  

Yes, today, I was missing the moments in life that broadened my knowledge and depth of understanding and appreciation for the plan of salvation. The moments that stretched me and tested my limits to the max.  The moments that helped me create a very special bond with my baby girl and my other children.  The moments that expanded my definition of neighbors.  The moments that turned total strangers into family.  The moments that increased my capability to love others.  The moments that made me see things as the Savior sees them.  Today I totally heard "Behold your little one" as I was at the hospital with her.  Who knew that such an awful situation could be so amazingly wonderful?  Who knew that a six month to 2 1/2 year old could teach so much, love so deep and forgive so easily.  It is no wonder why we are told to be like little children.

I love my "sweet little peanut" who is still cancer free...and gained 1/2 pound!!

Immunizations

Odette is a little behind on her immunizations...

I guess little is the wrong word...a lot behind!

So she doesn't get treated like a human pin cushion and because I am overly paranoid we are taking shots slowly.

Odette is going to be getting two shots a month until she can get all caught up.

I think it is for the next 8 months.

I took her today to get some shots.

(I totally forgot to take a picture.)

The nurse wanted to give her two live vaccines and I about went running out of the office!

I convinced them to start with something good and dead, especially since her eating this past week has been worse than normal.

I really don't want a sick baby from the live vaccines.

I know Odette doesn't have cancer anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't worry and think about it more often than not.

Odette did her normal, "owie" when she got poked.

Then she jumped down from the table, ran out the door and stood by the treats until I caught up with her and could give her one.

She was obsessed with the band-aids for the rest of the day.

Maybe getting the immunizations is going to be harder for the mommy than it is for Odette.

Endo Doctor Visit

The day has finally arrived that I needed to take Odette in to see the Endocrinologist.  I have been really worried about this appointment because supposedly we were suppose to have Odette get hormone levels tested-just done with some blood work and get an X-ray to find out what her bone age is.  The doctor walked in, took one look at her and said, "Why are you even here?  Everything I see on her charts looks great and she looks healthy."  The doctor crunched some numbers and said that there isn't anything that we should be worried about.  She wrote an order for some blood work to be done with Odette's regular CBC test next month and told me not to worry.  "We don't do X-rays on kids until they are about 4."  She would never recommend a G-tube for such a healthy kid.  I had a huge burden lifted when she said that.  So, Odette is what I have always thought she was:  A happy, healthy, energetic, special, miracle, amazing little two year old!

 

 Odette LOVED the painting on the wall, especially the purple cow with green polka dots.

 After her appointment we went to Tracy Aviary to see the birds.  She thought it was great playing in the sand, being a pelican, chasing a peacock trying to touch it and watching all "her" birds.  She even tried to pick a fight with a kid because she said they were her birds and he was standing in her spot! 

She is so stinkin cute!

Moments that Matter Most

I have to vent, so if you don't like to hear me vent, you may skip this post.

This week alone I have heard three too many times, "The cancer is back."

Oh how I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE THOSE FOUR WORDS!

My heart breaks when the next words are, "It's terminal or there isn't much we can do for it."

No mother or father should ever have to hear those words when discussing their child.

So, as always this is a reminder to me to take time and enjoy the moments that matter the most.

You NEVER know when those you love most will be gone from you.

And yes you will be with them again, but I can guarantee you will want to have wonderful memories to pull strength from until that time.

Don't take for granted what might be gone tomorrow.

Watch
Moments-that-matter-most
and
What Matters Most

This is why...

...I don't particularly like giving Odette her "make her feel hungry" medicine.

It works a lot like Benedryl and she takes it three times a day, so she isn't just feeling hungry, she is very sleepy.  I find her asleep all over the house.  I don't know how comfortable that is, to sleep with the broom, but she was out for a few hours.  Obviously she had been eating something as well because I didn't even get her face cleaned before she was out.

The only plus side is she has been sleeping through the night!  One whole week of uninterrupted sleep at night for mommy as well!

Another mile stone

 A few months ago when I knew that we would be going to Odette's regular check up the day after her one year of cancer free celebration, I knew that I wanted to do something to take to the other families who are traveling the hardest part of the cancer road right now.  Since I have a bunch of girls, we thought we would make a bunch of hair bows.  However, I didn't want to just drop them in a basket.  Then I remembered one of the things that I had a hard time with was back then.  You couldn't bring real flowers into the cancer part of the hospital.  So, we made flowers that could be brought to the hospital.  Thanks to a few friends, we got two pots made-one for the inpatients and one for the outpatients.  I think that they are the prettiest bouquet of flowers!  I think they were quite the hit. We attached a note from Odette. 

 

Today Odette had to get her blood tested.  Usually it isn't a big deal, but she totally freaked out and was screaming and crying.  Didn't help that we had a new phlebotomist and he missed her vein the first time.   However, Odette also had to have an echo done on her heart as well, just to check that all is still okay.  It looked great and she lay perfectly still the entire 20 minutes!

We got similar news as yesterday from the oncology doctors.

Odette is just a little tike.  She looks healthy and is very happy, but we are really concerned about her weight.

Instead of going to check ups every three months, we go back in two months to see if medicine is helping her to eat and discuss what Endo discovers in a couple of weeks.  That was the hard part of the visit.

Today's appointment was awesome when we got to visit with some of our very favorite nurses and cleaning staff at the hospital.  I am so thankful for the PCMC staff who is more than just friends, they are family and we love them! 

GI frustration

It is the week of doctor visits.

Today Odette went to see Dr. Pohl, the GI doctor.

As soon as I saw what the scale said, I knew there wasn't going to be any good news coming.

Of course Odette is the "cutest little stink" but that was the end of happy.

Her weight is the same as it has been for months. (10.1 kg)

Not good to be the size of an 18 month old or younger.

I am having a hard time understanding why she isn't getting bigger AT ALL!  

She eats a big variety of foods now, but I guess not enough.

She is super active-like the energizer bunny!

She does have a very little dad.

No more blabbing...The doctor says:

You need to go and see the Endocrinologist--this appointment luckily I already had set up for the first part of August.  If there isn't a hormone problem we are gonna have to put a G-tube in.  For now we will have her start taking the periactin (make you feel super hungry medicine) and see if that will help with calorie intake.

He assured me that it isn't anything that I am not doing.  Many kids struggle to play "catch up" after going through an ordeal as Odette did and need some more help.

So I am not sure what to pray for;  that it is a hormone problem (I haven't heard happy things about children on hormone therapy) or that we have a g-tube to feed her extra calories a day.  Neither one sounds to exciting, but as I have learned, the Lord knows what is best and whatever happens it will be okay.

After all, Odette is a fighter.

Neither of the two above are as hard as cancer...

Odette had way to much fun walking through Target as a quick stop after our appointment.  She loved wearing the baseball "hat" and driving the truck through the isles.  I think she looks like a little darth vador in the first picture. :)

July 4th

Last year we celebrated freedom from chemo along with the AWESOME FREEDOM of our Country.

This year, we celebrated these same things along with freedom from cancer!

Odette absolutely loved the parade, the food, the fireworks, the slide...and a barrel of monkeys!

Princess Ball

The Hopekids put together a Princess Ball.  They sent out the coolest scroll-like invitations by email to all the princesses, had a fancy place for us to eat at with the cutest servers, a Cinderella coach for rides, balloon shapes, cupcakes and of course all the princesses were in attendance.  It was so much fun!  Kathleen went as Aurora, Josselyn as Snow White and Odette as Cinderella.  It was great to mingle with other families that have lived in the cancer world with us. 

 

 Odette drinking out of her fancy glass.  It didn't break and she drank most of it!

 A ride in Cinderella's coach.  Odette LOVED the horses!

I took over 50 pictures and had to just pick a few.  It was so much fun!  I am so lucky to have my princesses!

Dentist

Seriously, Odette is the best patient for ANY doctor visit!  I had forgotten that we had started having her get her teeth cleaned six months ago because we were concerned that she might have some serious dental issues given the chemo and the amount of puke that came in contact with her teeth.  

She was so cute at the dentist office.  She climbed right up on the chair, laid down and opened up her mouth.  She held perfectly still the entire time.  The only thing we couldn't do was the fluoride because she wanted to keep swallowing it.  Guess nothing tastes gross to her anymore!