CANCER SUCKS!!

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I have had at least 100 things go through my head of what I could write about, but couldn't muster up the desire to do it. This last week has been a very emotional week and from it all, I have boiled it down to one thing--CANCER SUCKS!

While up here at the hospital I have tried to talk to other parents and make a support group for myself. One of my very good friends little boy, just 3 weeks younger than Odette passed away yesterday. I don't know what to do or say. He was the cutest little guy and evidently to good to live through this awful earth life any more. I am sure that his family would agree with me that CANCER SUCKS!

With my family, life has been really challenging for all. School is fun for the kids, but they struggle with not always being able to come home to their own home, snacks, sisters and mom. Not often do they play because who knows where they are. Josselyn is tough and as long as she can play dress up doesn't much care where she is, but she does hate that Odette isn't home to kiss her goodnight. For Ken, thank goodness he is willing to do so much. It isn't an easy job to be a mother, but for him to be a mother and a father is a ton of hard work. There isn't enough time to do it all, but he does awesome at it and the kids were so excited when he got up early enough to make German Pancakes before school--their favorite! I am so grateful that he does do all he does for our family. It is hard for me to be here at the hospital-very lonely and depressing and frustrating. I want so much to cook dinner, read with my kids and of course do math homework! Of course I love that I can have this time with my little, precious daughter. There are days that I feel my life is in such uproar and so fragile. If one thing is overlooked, it is going to shatter and my family is going to fall apart. I know a couple of years is short in the grand scheme of things, but I know all in my family agree--CANCER SUCKS!!

I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows me and for some reason thinks we are strong enough to bare this burden. I know we are blessed in ways we never would imagine when we keep the commandments and have faith and trust the Lord. I know that families are forever and I am so glad I have this knowlege. I know prayers are answered through many ways, mainly through other people. Even though I know these things, in the end I also know that CANCER SUCKS!