Trials

This week has been kind of a frustrating week. We were suppose to be back for chemo on Monday, but once again Odette's counts were too low. Platelets were low enough (13) that we needed to go just to get a transfusion. Once up there, Odette's heart rate was at 200 and her oxygen level only at 80 percent, so they didn't want to let her go home. This seemed to occur only when we were feeding her, almost like an allergic reaction. In the morning we asked that they just change out the feeding tube and if that didn't work, to try a different type of formula-both of our family has milk allergies, so we thought maybe we should try soy formula. After we changed the feeding tube however, we did the first feeding and she was fine--no puke, no cough, no high heart rate! So, we went home.

She has been happy for most of the time at home, only puked up her tube once last night, but has laughed and rolled all over just so she could be close to Josselyn or Kathleen. (Guess it is good the kids are out of school for the next few days!) Today the nurse came to get Odette's blood so we can see if she has enough counts to start chemo tomorrow. Not really excited to go back to the hospital, but can't wait for this illness trial to be coming to an end! I think that we still have 22 weeks of treatment--not counting the time out for being sick!

It has been very annoying lately to think about this trial. There seems to be no escape from thinking about it. I know that we are given trials so that we can learn and become better people, more like our Father in Heaven. However some trials come from the choices we make as consequences. We can't pay our bills cuz we bought to many toys or we lost our temper and now we have to fix a hole in the wall. These types of trials, even though difficult seem to me to be more easily accepted, because we "chose" them by choosing our behavior. Odette being sick is not because of a choice that anyone made and so is very frustrating for me to understand. I am sure good things will come of it, there already are great things, but in the mist of it all, it is hard to see what learning and good is going on. My brother must have been inspired because he reminded me of the following scripture: Doctirne and Covenants Section 122 verse 7"... if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, Know thou, my son that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good". I guess I am just testing to make sure that the scriptures are true!