Ten Months

Ten months ago today:

I didn't even know how to get to Primary Childrens hospital.

Now, I could drive here with my eyes closed.

I knew leukemia was cancer.

Now, I know in detail how it works and how to treat it.

I thought the best pain killer was tylenol.

 Now we aren't even allowed to use it - oxycodone is better.

All the faces at the hospital were unknown.

 Now they are some of my best friends.

The white hospital walls were lonely

 Now I know I can decorate to my hearts content.

I would push the nurse button for everything because I was uncertain of what was going on. 

Now I push it because I only want to be the nurse at home!

Getting Odette a feeding tube seemed unreasonable. 

Now I know it is the best way to help her.

Listening to the Dr. talk was frustrating because I didn't speak his/her language.

Now I have knowlege and can speak in medical lingo.

Puke was something that Odette never had done.

Now if it doesn't happen daily I am surprised but celebrating.

I missed the flowers at my house that were just beginning to bloom.

Now, I get to enjoy the new blossoms from my living room window.

I knew medical bills could be expensive.

Now I know why people put jars out with faces at the Artic Circle.

Projects and perfection mattered to me.

Now, I know my family and doing my best are what is important.

We were the new diagnosis.

Now, my heart breaks each time I hear the words "new diagnosis".

"How am I going to do this?", was my main question and concern.

Now, the answer to this question is through YOU and the SAVIOR I will do this.

A "year" of treatment seemed like an eternity.

Now it is only 3 months away.

Tears came freely.

Now, they still do.

There was much fear.

Now faith has replaced it.

The darkness that engulfed me when I got the news was tangible.

Now, hope prevails and light surrounds me.

I wished that this wasn't happening to me and my family.

Now, I am grateful for the blessings I have received.