Quiet moments

Lately, Odette has been in the hospital quite a bit. It seems like there is no end in sight-to which the doctors say there is. The doctor gave us what they call a road map for what Odette is going to have to endure. It isn't the entire thing, but goes up until week 46, which puts us into June of next year. In his words he says, "she is little, she gets sick easy, don't plan on going home. I know it is hell, but it will end." Talk about a huge frustration in life. I am not just mom to a little girl, but three other children! How on earth to balance all my duties is getting to be quite the juggling act! I am very greatful to all of you who have been mom to my children over the past six weeks-yes, it has only been that long! I honestly don't know what I am going to do to make it another 40 weeks! (There have been many tears and fighting in my mind over what to do!)

While I have been thinking about this, I had a chance to come home for a day to play with the kids and get them off to school. My sister and I took them to the pool and it hit me that I am still their mom and that I can connect with them in quick, special moments. At the pool, each of my kids wanted me to play in a different part of the pool with them alone, which at first I was bothered by because I really don't like swimming, and I would much rather watch from the side, but, I was overwhelmed by the spirit that I needed to do as they wished. With the few minutes I spent with each child individually, Brandt walking around the lazy river, Kathleen dancing around in the lap pool and Josselyn under the mushroom shower, I was able to connect with my kids and I knew they felt loved from me and that they were going to be okay. It was unbelievable to me that taking the few minutes to do this, I felt like I was a good, loving mother once again.

Now I am back at the hospital for a while, and I have thought of other ways to still be a good mother. Maybe some of my cooking, cleaning and homework duties are falling to a few of you other great mothers, but I am still doing what I can now and I know that it is good enough for them and me. So, make sure that you are taking advantage of the quiet moments alone with your children that are sometimes overlooked or watched by the side of a pool! You never know what special thing could come from that moment.